I am a danger to myself

Sooo... I suck at life. I really need a babysitter. Seriously, I am nearly 26, and convinced that I am not capable of keeping myself alive (so I'm being sarcastic... mostly).

So... I needed to return the movie I rented last night to the Red Box at the grocery down the street from me. Literally less than a five minute walk. NO BIG DEAL... Nope, it was out of order. I'd have to take it to the Market District on the other side of Shadyside. Whatever, as long as it doesn't rain, I'm fine by it.

I stopped to tan. That's a bonus to the evening.

I returned my movie and got some groceries for dinner. Go me!

On my way home, life went downhill. Real talk, I have NO makeup on, my hair is curly, I'm wearing my "Where the Wild Things Are" t-shirt and yoga pants... AND THIS CAR FULL OF GUYS start honking as I'm walking past. The driver rolls down his window, and holds up a big "Single?" sign. Really?!?! Is this what my life has come to? I then spend the next ten minutes trying to think of someone to call and tell this story to-- everyone is likely busy, spending time with their fiances, cooking dinner, yada yada yada. "Okay, so the story doesn't need to be told anyways"...

As I continue home, the walk was actually pretty uneventful. I like walking in Shadyside. The houses are gorgeous. There are friendly people ALL OVER the place. It's still not raining.

When I'm literally across the street from my house, I try to avoid a HUGE puddle that is taking up the width of the sidewalk. I have to walk in the grass. "It's a bit dirty, but it's okay," I think. WRONG... My foot is SUBMERGED in mud. My flip flop is stuck. The mud is oozing between my toes. GROSS.

I get home. I'VE GOT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS. My camera phone isn't working.

FINE. Just FINE!

I get upstairs to my apartment... WHERE ARE MY KEYS? You have GOT to be kidding me. Evi knows I'm outside, so he's barking like the ninja that he is. Really?! Unnecessary right now.

Crap. I can't get into my apartment. I have this dinner in these grocery bags (I won't lie, I sit on the steps and take a few bites).

I walk back outside, because I'm convinced my keys are at the tanning salon. I guess I'll just have to walk back and get them...

THEY ARE IN THE OUTSIDE SECURITY DOOR. I WOULD LEAVE MY KEYS IN THE OUTSIDE DOOR (to take the picture with my camera phone of my muddy foot).

Problem solved. I can get into my apartment. I can eat. I can clean up the potpourri Evi ate in my absence. I can write this stupid blog.

I WOULD post a picture of my muddy foot, except I took a picture with my camera, and DIDN'T have the SD card in my camera... and the camera cord is in my car. I do not have time for this junk!!!


(I'm really less bitter than how this blog sounds... but bitter sounds more interesting).

p.s. did I mention I locked myself LEGITIMATELY out of my apartment a few weeks ago at 2am, while taking the dogs out, and had to sleep in my car? That DID suck. Please refer to the title of this post for what I really think about my life...